Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom was an unassuming 3D platformer released for PlayStation 2, Xbox and GameCube back in 2003 – at a time when movie and TV tie-ins were arguably at the height of their popularity. I was eight-years-old at the time and I’m sure I’m not alone in having many fond memories of the PS2’s interpretations of Harry Potter,The Simpsons and various Disney Pixar films.

While we’ve all grown up and moved on to pastures new, Spongebob Squarepants has remained a staple in the world of children’s entertainment. Even seventeen years later, you only need to turn on the Nicktoons TV channel and you’re likely to see back to back episodes of our quirky sponge’s show.

THQ is cleverly capitalising on our notoriously fast-paced industry here, as the last fifteen years have been witness to the decline of the 3D platformer genre, with early icons Crash Bandicoot and Spyro the Dragon only very recently being coaxed out of hibernation thanks to the likes of Yooka Laylee and a handful of other newcomers.

With less direct competition on the scene and a whole new audience of younger gamers thanks to the likes of Minecraft and Fortnite, Battle for Bikini Bottom is back and more relevant than ever. The game has been lovingly remastered by Purple Lamp Studios utilising Epic Games’ Unreal Engine, and if not for the Rehydrated suffix in the title, you’d be hard pressed to find evidence that this game’s blueprints are almost two decades old.

Gone are the PS2 era’s dull colours and murky textures. Rehydrated’s visuals look right at home on current-generation hardware in 2020. It obviously doesn’t compare with Ratchet & Clank’s glorious levels of detail and beautiful environments, but the intentionally simplistic 3D art style is fully realised in high definition and will undoubtedly spark the imagination of its younger audiences.

A jaded gamer could perhaps describe Battle for Bikini Bottom as linear and straightforward. But this game was never aimed at jaded gamers. Remember the games that you loved as a kid? They probably haven’t aged well, despite your rose-tinted memories telling you otherwise. Spongebob Rehydrated is the game that your kids will look back on fondly in twenty years’ time and reminisce about with their friends. If your kid gets stuck, they have the freedom to skip a particularly tricky section and come back to it later on. You only need to obtain a certain number of Golden Spatulas to unlock the next area, and these can be collected by completing various objectives – in any order, from any location.

Each area is distinctly themed around a setting from the TV show – whether that’s the wilderness of Kelp Forest, the beach-themed Goo Lagoon, or The Flying Dutchman’s residence in the haunted graveyard – and the series’ cast of eccentric characters pop up throughout to give Spongebob missions and opportunities to earn more Golden Spatulas.

The writing is on par with any TV episode, and if the TV show’s writers weren’t involved in this project then the writers were clearly big fans. The childish sense of humour is present and correct, with some cheeky nods to the parents and jokes that are bound to go over your innocent kid’s head. In a bout of anarchy against the town of Bikini Bottom, the phrase “your bikini bottom stinks” is graffitied onto the walls of Spongebob’s house pineapple in the opening cut-scene, and I think that sets the tone perfectly.

In terms of the port, then, Purple Lamp Studios has done a wonderful job at bringing an older game into the modern era. Unfortunately, the source material wasn’t perfect and the gameplay mechanics do hit their peak relatively early on.

In addition to Spongebob’s repertoire of attack moves, you can also switch out for Patrick Star and Sandy Cheeks at regular intervals, who each have their own set of unique abilities. Sandy can lasso enemies from a distance and use her rope to glide across longer gaps than Spongebob could otherwise muster with his standard double-jump; Patrick’s, erm, muscle(?) meanwhile allows him to lift heavy items such as Throw Fruit (watermelons) at enemies and use Freezy Fruit to turn any body of water into a frozen lake for a limited time period. These mechanics are welcome additions when they’re introduced, but the innovations soon dry out and are frequently re-used throughout each of the game’s worlds. Super Mario Galaxy, this game is not.

I’m a firm believer that a bad game should not be excused for being a bad game just because it’s aimed at kids. Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom – Rehydrated is not a bad game, and I – a twenty-five-year-old guy – had a moderate amount of fun exploring its world and reminiscing about early mornings before school watching the cartoon with my brother. It was a bit too easy and a bit too repetitive for me, but this game wasn’t made for me. If you’re a child under the age of ten that enjoys the cartoon, Rehydrated is an unashamedly bright and delightful romp through Bikini Bottom. You’ll love it. If you have an under-ten in the household, you can do a lot worse than picking this one up for them. It’s better than a slap on the Sandy Cheeks.

-Martyn

A review code for this product was kindly provided by the publisher. Reviewed on PS4.

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