Unless you’ve been in a coma since Christmas, then you’ve probably heard of this little unknown game, by a little unknown developer, called Elden Ring. Launching in February 2022 after years of anticipation, to the most incredible reception probably ever seen in gaming, Elden Ring has gone on to sell more than 12 million copies thus far, a new record for Japanese developer FromSoftware.
Sitting with the remarkable Metacritic score of 97 (more on that later…), Elden Ring has been the blockbuster hit of 2022, leaving Sony’s Horizon Forbidden West, among others, in its shadow.
Yet me, Dony, wasn’t interested in picking it up, certainly not any time soon. See, I don’t consider myself to be a great gamer, I happily play games on normal difficulty and my relationship with FromSoftware isn’t great:
I tried Bloodborne a few years ago, I was suffering from FOMO in a period between games, so I decided to see what all the fuss was about. For those of you reading who have played Bloodborne, you’ll be aware of the first boss, Cleric Beast. After my second attempt ended in abject failure, I rage-deleted the entire game, not just rage-quit, and removed that fucker clean off my hard drive.
I have a famously short temper, I have no patience at all, it’s not a case of I CAN’T beat Bloodborne, I just don’t have the patience for the pain to endure it.
So, this is why Elden Ring wasn’t a priority for me, my plan was always to pick it up in the sale/second hand later in the year when things quiet down game-wise, and most likely rage-delete it also after an hour.
It was a sunny Friday, the 22nd of April when I decided to check out Facebook Marketplace and see what steals were available, and the first result I found was ‘Elden Ring £30’, and it was two minutes away from my house. Well, not one to pass up such a deal, I was picking up Elden Ring and making my way home, with the intention of putting the game in the cupboard for when I was ready to play it, later in the year…
In something akin to Lord Of The Rings, Elden Ring was calling out to me from my cupboard, My Precious was wanting to be released and bring me untold pain. I wasn’t going to give in so easily obviously.
Aye right.
By 9pm I emerged from my tutorial cave, out into Limgrave, ready to become The Elden Lord.
My Astrologer was ready for the vast open-world FromSoftware had created, armed with 10 tips for beginners I made my way to collect some essential items for the journey ahead; I knew I needed my steed, a crafting kit, a pack of wolves to summon and a few other keys starter locations, oh, and also avoid something called Tree Sentinel. Within the first 2 hours, I had realised, there was something just a little different here, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill game.
My anxiety of not having map waypoints and quest lists is strong though. I do prefer to have my hand held in games: I like being told where to go, what to do, or who to kill. It’s something I’ve been used to for many years now, it suits me. So being completely blind in Elden Ring is daunting as hell, I’ve no idea where to go, or what to do, and yet it’s exciting!
Seeing something in the distance you’re drawn to go and see what’s there, with the obvious worry of a dragon flying down out of nowhere and one-shotting you. But, I still do prefer the Ubisoft method, I can’t pretend otherwise – but there is a place for both in today’s gaming.
As I make my way through a dungeon, I cannot get over the sheer enemy variety and their own moves and techniques, it’s astounding. Literally everything in the game fights differently, it’s an incredible level of detail and variation. You cannot predict or second guess anything, I never thought I’d appreciate user messages in the world, telling me to ‘avoid the right tunnel’, or ‘beware enemy from the left’, or ‘finger bum’. Those little nuggets of information are so incredibly helpful for me and my fellow newbies and have saved my ass many times already.
I’m now 12 hours in, Margit The Fell Omen is down and out, and I’m clearing what I can from Limgrave before storming Stormveil Castle, and I am happy to report that I am absolutely hooked on Elden Ring. This game is just so damn good. It’s hard as balls, but it’s so fun and rewarding when you succeed, and I just want to dive in again and again. I genuinely cannot stop thinking about this game, and when I’ll get my next fix. It reminds me of my Returnal play-through, even in death, I couldn’t wait to try again.
I have a controversial opinion on something, so look away now if you don’t want to face the home truth…
As great as Elden Ring is, it is not a 97.
A game with poor performance (running around 45fps in performance mode) and a game that visually looks like ass, cannot be a 97 in 2022. I feel strongly that every game should be held to the same standards. Dying Light 2 and Horizon Forbidden West, all games released around the same period, were both marked down by many reviewers for a mix of performance and graphical issues, so Elden Ring should be too. There shouldn’t be one rule for one, and another for FromSoftware titles.
In saying that, it might not be a 97, but it’s not bloody far off…
I was once the Elden Loser, I will soon be The Elden Lord.
-Dony