Developer: Striking Distance Studios
Publisher: KRAFTON
Release Date: December 2nd, 2022
Platforms: PlayStation, Xbox & PC
Reviewed on: PlayStation 5
Have you ever wondered what a review would look like from someone who is scared of horror games? Then look no further!
That’s right, me, Dony, 36 soon-to-be 37-year-old grown-ass man, doesn’t like scary games. When I was younger, I did play the first four Resident Evils but barely scratched the surface since, oh and I never played more than an hour of Dead Space. So, Imagine my joy when the masochist that is Pure Dead Craig asked me to do the review for The Callisto Protocol.
The Callisto Protocol is the first of two Dead Space remakes, not really but really, coming out. Made by Glenn Schofield, the original creator of Dead Space, Callisto Protocol has been eagerly anticipated by the genre’s fans since its unveiling at the 2020 Game Awards.
Assuming the role of Jacob Lee, we are thrust into a prison on the moon of Callisto, only to wake up and find ourselves in the middle of a horror nightmare: the prison is being overrun by inmates and monsters, it’s a fight for survival through long dark corridors… Lots of long dark corridors, and a beautiful winter backdrop.
Visually, The Callisto Protocol is an impressive, impressive game. From mocap to suit design, to corridors and backgrounds, this is truly a current-gen game (despite being on last-gen consoles also). The visuals, however, quickly lose their appeal when you’re walking through your 100th corridor and your 50th tight squeeze (loading screen), in what feels like rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.
Enemy designs are drab and lacking in variety. You have but a handful of different enemies to battle against, and each one of those types all look identical with no redeeming features or style. Again, a bit more rinse and repeat really. Bosses do offer a touch of variety visually, but really they’re just a bit bigger, with bigger arms, or two heads, and they hit a lot harder too, but towards the end, you have to fight the same style of mini-boss four times.
The biggest talking point of the game is the combat, and my god is this controversial. Ask ten people their thoughts, and you’ll get five who like it, five who don’t, and ten different explanations and thoughts as to why. Unlike Dead Space, Callisto’s main combat focus is melee, but a little too much for me. What feels like constant spamming of R2, Jacob arms himself with a baton, using this to maim and dismember enemies in a gruesome but satisfying fashion. Enemies are aggressive and hungry for blood, avoiding attacks is key to survival, and this is done by timing your left stick alternating between left and right to avoid attacks. Picture that video of Mohammed Ali dodging 21 punches in 10 seconds…
Dodging the attacks is all well and good when you’re 1-on-1, anymore than that, and it’s pain coming your way. A combination of poor camera angles, close-in over the shoulder camera, and no lock-on system means you either need to be damn good or it’s another head biting-off sequence coming your way.
The worst part about dying though, isn’t the shame of seeing your limbs being torn off and your face being eaten; it’s the checkpoint system. Dying feels like punishment, every time. Those three corridors, one squeeze hole, one collectible, three bits of ammo, and two health packs you picked up before? Better pick them up again, your fault for dying, after all!
As the game progresses, Jacob is given guns to bolster his attack, but think of these guns as support, as opposed to anything else. A frustratingly small inventory and low ammo spawns means guns are reserved for combo shots with melee, and rarely anything more than that – which means more spamming of R2…The combos are fun though, when the indicator appears you have an auto lock to quickly fire a shot to add in more attacks. Sadly though, slow reloading, slow animation, and a tedious gun-swap system often make using guns more hindrance than help in the last chapter and a half.
The best weapon in the game however, is the Jedi-like GRP Glove. The GRP allows you to pick up objects and thrust them at your enemies, but better still, pick up enemies and thrust them towards conveniently placed spikes on every wall. Certain sections have giant rotating spikes (for some reason…) which grind enemies to a pulp and rain blood down like a sprinkler system going off. These manoeuvres are extremely satisfying, but I can’t help but ask, why are there racks of spikes on walls in a prison, why are there giant rotating spinning spike platforms? None of it makes any sense whatsoever but is fun nonetheless.
The second half of The Callisto Protocol is by far the best – if you can persevere until then the game definitely picks up. You gain the space suit you see from the cover art, and suddenly your inventory is doubled, which is so unbelievably welcome. The world design also changes, slightly, with the introduction of a beautiful but creepy snow section, with frozen enemies and more open battle areas. A new type of enemy gets introduced also, akin to The Last Of Us, a blind enemy hunting you by sound, that allows you to finally use that stealth tutorial you learned 6 hours ago…
Throughout the game, the tension and atmosphere doesn’t dip. You never truly feel safe and are always expecting an enemy to burst through a door or a vent. Noises are aplenty and haunting, especially with 3D audio. Constantly you hear enemies running through vents above you or below you, there is growling and snarling through gaps and pipes but rarely do these noises come to anything, and that’s the beauty. For, if those growls and snarls always meant an enemy was about to attack you, you’d come to expect and anticipate, and that tension would subside very quickly.
For a shitebag like me, it’s enough to put the fear in you.
The story is uninteresting and predictable. You can guess the ending an hour in, you can guess a certain antagonist won’t actually be dead, and you don’t really care why we are in this situation. At no point did I ever feel I was playing anything original, or was I ever pondering any plot points. Truth be told, The Callisto Protocol could have served as a horde mode game only: leave the story, leave the characters, and just have waves of enemies to beat, because that is what this game is in essence anyway.
I can’t help but think, if I liked this genre, if I liked Dead Space, I might be a bit kinder, and resonate with Callisto more, but in truth, the failings aren’t a complete result of the genre, in actual fact a lot of what I do respect is because of it. But rinse and repeat drab and clunky combat isn’t enough, it’s too big a deal not to leave a lasting negative impression on me.
-Dony