Back in 2018 I was counting down the days until Two Point Hospital’s release on PC. You see Theme Hospital, the game that Two Point is derived from is one my favourite games of all time. So you can imagine my devastation when I booted up the game for the first time only to find that my PC could barely run it. At this point I had two options; spend hundreds of pounds upgrading my PC or roll the dice and wait for a potential console port that was promised if the initial release was a success.

Reluctantly I decided to wait and now eighteen months later after a substantial delay it is finally here and I am happy to report that it has delivered in every aspect! Sequels to beloved games often fall short of expectations and while this isn’t an official follow up to Theme Hospital, it is made by a lot of the original Bullfrog team. Two Point Hospital almost feels like a remake of the 1997 game. Like it was used as a base and that was then expanded and improved on in every way possible.

Two Point Studios set the tone in the opening cutscene. The game is genuinely funny with so many unique and hilarious illnesses. In tactical sim games like this I often get really invested, so to have that comic relief frequently injected throughout is a huge bonus. You start as the owner of a fledgling health firm in Two Point County. Each level has a unique starting layout and comes with different challenges and objectives which unlock stars that boost your influence.

The game plays identically to Theme Hospital, right down to the opening tutorial where you first plant a reception desk, followed by hiring an assistant, building a GP’s office, hiring a doctor and so on. Keeping the same intro tutorial from the first game was a brilliant move that both floods fans of the originals brains with the best kind of nostalgia and serves as a good introduction for newcomers.

The illnesses were once again the main highlight of the game for me and I was constantly looking forward to coming across the next hilarious ailment. One of the first epidemics you encounter is called Lightheadedness where members of the public appear with light bulbs for heads. To cure this unfortunate affliction you gain the ability to build a De-Lux clinic. The cure for Lightheadedness is to unscrew their light bulb head and 3D print a new head to stick on. Watching this happen is every bit as wacky and funny as you would imagine and sets the stage for what is to come.

Staff play a large role in any hospital and it’s no different here. Each potential hire comes with their own unique traits like inspiring, has potential, gets toilet rage, has never owned a pencil and many, many more. More qualified candidates will demand more money and in time training rooms can be set up to improve the qualifications of your workforce. Doctors can be trained to be surgeons or psychiatrists, while janitors can gain the ability to be Ghostbusters. That’s right, when someone dies in the hospital they actually pull out a vacuum cleaner with a backpack and chase the ghost around the hospital until they catch them.

I was a little skeptical at how the PS4 port would run but I am happy to report that I have came across no issues during my 15+ hours with the game so far. Even when hospitals get crowded it ran buttery smooth which given the level of detail and how much you can zoom in is admirable. My other worry was the controls. Clearly a game like this is designed with a mouse and keyboard in mind but Two Point Studios have mapped everything to a controller flawlessly. After a short time becoming familiar with the controls you will be building, hiring and growing your hospital like a pro.

The console port comes packing the first two expansion packs and adds more illnesses and challenges to the already meaty experience. A sci-fi expansion that recently realised on PC should be added in the next few months as well. One noticeable absence is the sandbox mode, but SEGA informed us that it will be added in a free update by the end of March.

The trophy list is both ultra tough and fair. It looks for you to cure X amount of patients, train world class staff, have clinics at a certain level and hardest of all gain X amount of stars. As things stand no-one has managed to get the gold trophy for obtaining either 54 or 63 stars and I would expect that completion to stay extremely low.

Overall Two Point Hospital is pretty much the perfect simulation game. It nails every aspect of the genre and the port to console couldn’t have been handled with more care. For over twenty years I have been pining for a sequel, remaster or remake of Theme Hospital and this will go down as one of my favourite games of all time. A true masterpiece.

Craig here. I just wanted to add an addendum to this review. Over the last week I have been playing the Nintendo Switch version and to my surprise it runs really well. I was expecting frame rate issues and graphical glitches given the hardware limitations, but other than a few extended load times the Switch version gets two thumbs up from me 👍 Buy this game on as many devices as you can!

-Jock

A review code for this product was kindly provided by the publisher. Reviewed on PS4 Slim. Also available on Nintendo Switch, Xbox and Steam.

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